Deceptions: Chapter 4

Chapter Four

A/N: A huge “Thank you!” to Mandie, Shy, Sonam and Tiffany for helping set me straight, giving me the needed encouragement and for making me face my demons and not allowing me to run and cower instead. I love you!
(Right. So any praise, they are as deserving as I, and any complaints… I’M INNOCENT!)

I can’t take it anymore
I’m going to go insane
I’m so angry, I’m so angry, I’m so angry
~ ‘Angry’, Naked Agression

They’d made it to the Medical Center in record time, even with the detour to Terminal City to collect the relevant information. Their lack of foresight had Max overwrought, and Original Cindy wished she could have spared her friend the anxiety.

Cindy glanced at Max from the corner of her eye. Her friend seemed a little less peaked, less strained than she had earlier that day. Perhaps it was the hopeful anticipation that someone could provide answers to the questions that plagued her, perhaps just the idea of closure, regardless of whether or not it was a happy ending. Whatever the reason, Cindy was grateful for the change. She only wished the good doctor would hurry up.

Cindy watched her friend slap the folder in her hand against her thigh, bounce her leg on the ground and chew her gum loudly. She rose from her seat, paced the room and then dropped back onto the couch, letting out a ragged sigh. She repeated the process twice.

Patience wasn’t one of Max’s strengths. They’d been told to take a seat in the waiting room as Dr. Carr had a long line of patients to be seen, but the Transgenic wanted answers and it seemed to Cindy that she wasn’t going to sit quietly any longer. Max bounded from her seat and turned towards the closed door on the other side of the room.

“Boo?” Cindy asked, reaching out her hand to grasp the other girl’s arm. “I really don’t think-“

Max shook her off with a sharp look, her facial expression hard and unforgiving. “Then don’t,” she snapped. “I’m done waiting.”

Completely disregarding the loud complaints coming from angry patients and ignoring the fact that Sam Carr was conducting an appointment, Max threw open the door.

Without sparing a glance at the half-dressed, agitated woman sitting before Dr. Carr, she hauled the woman up against her loud protestations, and chucked her from the room, slamming and locking the door behind her.

Sam Carr stared in shock. “Max?” he asked incredulously. “What on earth-“

“Stuff it, Carr. I want answers,” she growled angrily, tossing the file open onto his desk and shoving his head forcibly forward. “Look at this and tell me what you see. Then you can explain why you lied to me!”

Carr opened his mouth to retort but seeing the murderous look in her eyes, thought better of it and turned his attention to the documents. Minutes passed in silence. It was only after the doctor’s sharp intake of breath that she was prompted to speak again.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

Carr’s face was pale and his eyes wide. “I have no idea how this could have happened. The results I gave you are the ones I myself received. If I had know they were forged do you honestly think I would pass them off as real? Have I ever lied to you, Max? I had no idea, I swear. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

Max nodded grimly. “Is there any way to find out how this happened? Who else could have known? Someone went to a lot of trouble to doctor these results. And what’s more, they left copies in the hospital records. Who would do this? Why?”

Sam Carr shrugged. “No one else knew I was conducting those tests, Max; Just you and Logan. If it hadn’t happened so long ago I would have suggested pulling up security footage but those would have been recorded over months ago. I’m sorry, Max, I don’t know what else to say.”

Noting her silence and the intent glare she focused on him, he added, a tad angrily, “Most doctors would have turned you in for a reward. But I haven’t. Logan is my friend, as are you, by extension. I wouldn’t do that to you, Max, any more than I would lie about something like this.”

Max let out a defeated sigh. “I’m sorry, Sam. It’s just been very upsetting.”

Sam eyed her contemplatively. “I don’t understand, Max. You just found out that you can have kids. I mean, I get that you were angry about the mix-up, but shouldn’t you be excited now? Weren’t you hoping to start a family with Logan?”

Max felt a pang at the mention of Logan’s name, and it wasn’t sadness or worry.

“It wasn’t Logan, was it,” he surmised shrewdly, having seen the look of distaste on her face.

What could it hurt? she asked herself. “No, we’d been broken up for a while at that point.”

Sam patted her shoulder sympathetically, trying to convey his regret. It had just registered that she might have been hoping for a future with someone else, a future that this terrible mistake had ended before it could really begin. He couldn’t apologize enough.

“I can’t say it enough, Max; I am so, so sorry.”

Max bit back tears and smiled sadly.

“Yeah, me too.”

Max dropped Cindy off at home, but rather than stay with her friend – who wanted nothing more than to comfort and be there for her – she took to the road in an attempt to clear her head.

Normally that would be enough. She always felt free on the road with nothing but the wind in her hair and the soothing purr and rumble of the engine beneath her. Today, however, she was finally awakening and the multitude of thoughts running through her mind were staggering.

Max made her way up to her favorite perch, the Space Needle. The height, so far above ground, gave her a weightless feeling and the distance from human life was comforting. It helped to be detached when one needed to sort through problems. No one bothered her here; the only ones who seemed to know about her preferred hideout were Logan, who was scared shitless of heights, and Alec. And the likelihood of being interrupted by Alec was slim to none.

So reasoning, Max inched her way to the ledge and settled down, grasping her bent legs with both hands and resting her chin on her knees. Gazing out upon the Seattle skyline, she allowed herself to be consumed by her thoughts and quickly got lost within her own mind.

After she’d scorned Alec, rebuffed and attacked him, she’d left and gone home to lick her wounds in private. She’d told no one of that day, of the truth, of the reasons behind her failed friendship with the man she loved, had said nothing of her reasons for rekindling the dead relationship she shared with Logan. She hadn’t proven or disproved any rumours, she’d refrained from answering the questions of concerned friends and colleagues. She’d retreated into herself as a defence against the pain of her self-imposed exile from love.

Then Logan found the cure. He’d been so happy, almost triumphant and, she realized, perhaps a bit smug. Having been the only person who even had an inkling as to the reasons she’d distanced herself from Alec, she was surprised now that she thought about it. He hadn’t seemed sorry. For all Logan’s declarations of understanding, of love for her and his desire to see her happy, no matter who she was with, he was altogether too pleased with himself when he’d taken the cure that allowed them to touch.

Max had been so starved for love, so desperate for a warm, gentle touch, that she ignored the niggling feelings of doubt and mistrust that lingered beneath the surface. She’d pushed them to the back of her mind and hidden them under layers of guilt and shame. Guilt at her treatment of Alec, at lying to herself that things would be okay with time, shame at having gone back to Logan, at not having told Alec the truth…so many layers. And so she’d forgotten.

But Max had rationalized her thoughts and actions, figuring that Alec, being as he was, might overlook his own wants and desires to keep her happy. And the last thing she wanted was for him to resent that choice later in life, when it might be too late. He had deserved more than she could give, or so she had thought.

Her relationship with Logan was strained at the best of times, but even with the arguments and fights, no matter how many priceless pieces of art she shattered in anger, no matter how many times he insulter her and her kind, they stayed together. Max had created a gulf between herself and the other Transgenics just by her treatment of Alec, and when that connection failed, she felt alienated in every way from the only place she’d ever truly felt at home.

Yes, she could admit that fully, now. Terminal City felt like home because the inhabitants understood what it was like to be hunted and feared, to be different. They knew what it was like to enjoy things Ordinaries would deem horrific and immoral, to want and feel things the Norms would never understand.

Twelve years on the outside and she’d never felt as isolated as she did at this moment. Transgenics aside, the only ones who knew her, really knew her, were Original Cindy and Logan. Cindy knew about her past, her abilities, and had even seen her in action. There had been a short while where Max knew she’d frightened her best friend beyond imagining, and yet the girl stuck with her. For that she would be forever grateful. But Cindy didn’t know the half of it and Max didn’t plan on enlightening her any further.

And while Logan knew and swore he was okay with who and what she really was, Max knew deep down that he turned a blind eye to things when it suited him and threw them in her face when he needed a weapon. She realized now, too late, that she’d wasted so much time on something that would never last. He’d never loved her, not really.

Sitting up a little straighter, Max sucked in a deep breath. Finally, she was free of her prison. Of the gilded cage that her useless pretending had wrought.

It was time for a new start. One that didn’t include Logan, Eyes Only or a life as someone she could never truly be, and now that she admitted it, as someone she didn’t want to be.

She might never have the man she loved, but she could make a life that would be worth living.

After close to two weeks of having Max holed up in her office, Headquarters seemed empty without her. It wasn’t that she’d been loud or taxing on the residents of the place, but she’d been there. And here he was, days later, having yet to see hide or hair of Max. From what he’d heard, she’d disappeared for part of the day after their confrontation in her office, and resurfaced for a few minutes only to leave again.

Alec hadn’t called or visited Original Cindy, but he knew from Sketchy that the girl had moved back into her old apartment. Alec was concerned that the rift that had grown between Max and Logan during her depressed state hadn’t been repaired. And as much as he disliked the other man, so long as he made Max happy, that was all that mattered.

He kicked himself mentally. Why do you do this to yourself? She rejected you a long time ago. You’ve moved on. Why do you still care? He had to laugh at that. Because no matter what happened, Alec knew he would always care about Max, he would always worry about her. And given all that had transpired, after having seen her defeated and hopeless, all he really wanted was to know that Max was okay. She’s got me completely whipped. He wondered if Cindy could shed any light on the situation. And if there was anything he could do to help. Yep. Totally, utterly whipped.

It was the end of a long day of hard runs to the furthest sectors of the city. With Max giving Houdini a run for his money, Alec, Sketchy and Original Cindy had picked up her slack to take the heat off the tortured girl and keep Normal out of her hair. His body ached and he was tired, but all thoughts of relaxation disappeared when he spotted Cindy making her way out the door.

“Cindy, hold up!” he called after the girl, smirking when she turned, frustrated and impatient.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said dismissively, continuing out the door and making a beeline for her bicycle. He followed quickly on her heels.

“I was wondering how…if, well, how Max is doing,” he said softly, stumbling slightly on the words, unsure of how to go about asking would once have been so normal but was now all too foreign.

“Not too good, Alec, but my homegirl’s gettin’ there.  She seen better days, that for sure, and this thing with Logan ain’t helpin’ any.”

“Look, OC, I know about the test results. That there was some kind of mistake, or whatever, but I don’t get it. If Max and Logan were trying to,” he paused, choking on the words, it was that difficult for him, “have kids,” he inhaled and exhaled slowly, “I don’t get why she was so upset.”

Cindy eyed him shrewdly. “You gotta take that up with Max, but lemme say this. Logan’s more trouble than he worth, and OC be thinkin’ her girl finally got a clue; far as I know they still not talkin’. There’s a lot you not aware of, and you should be, but like Original Cindy said, it ain’t her place.”

Alec studied the face of the girl before him, seeing her sympathetic eyes. He paid attention to the tone of her voice, the words she’d stressed, the slight change in pitch when she mentioned Logan, and the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach, the one he’d felt when he first considered the implications of Max’s discovery and subsequent downward spiral, returned.

He watched after her as she departed and finally gave in to the urge that had been building since he’d last seen Max.

Old man’s gotta stop dickin’ Max around or he’ll be losing the best thing he ever had.

He was going to have a chat with Logan.

Night had fallen but the windows of the penthouse were dark, indicating the absence of its occupant. Alec debated with himself; to leave or wait? But in the end he decided not to put it off. Max was miserable, of that he was certain, and if Logan was the key to ending her misery, he’d be the bigger man and stick it out.

Alec knocked just in case but when no reply was forthcoming, he picked the lock and let himself into the apartment. He helped himself to some scotch, an expensive pre-Pulse brand that Logan favored, and sat down on the couch in wait.

He sat for the better part of an hour, deep in thought, when curiosity got the better of him. The cyber-journalist had always rubbed him the wrong way, and while Max swore that he was a good guy with only the people’s best interests at heart, Alec wasn’t so sure. In his experience, every philanthropist or humanitarian had another agenda, even if it was just recognition and glory.

No one is that much of a bleeding heart, right?

Settling down in front of the computer, Alec started sifting through odd files, opening things that might potentially be shady or that sounded vaguely familiar. When he stumbled across a particular folder, his eyes widened in surprise. He clicked it open to view the contents and his mouth dropped in shock.

Alec stared at the monitor in confusion. Double-clicking on one of the sound clip files, he turned up the volume and listened with growing horror and disbelief.

“What the fuck?!”