Deceptions: Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

____________________________________

There’s a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

~Christina Aguilera – Reflection
____________________________________

 

The night was dark and heavy, the thick rain clouds threatening ominously in the heavens. His footsteps echoed loudly in the stillness, the streets quieter than he’d ever remembered them being at this time of night. The air was that of autumn turned winter; damp and bone-chillingly cold. Alec shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the night, burrowing deeply into the warmth of his jacket.

He inhaled; the pre-dawn air was a relief, cold as it was, and eased the oppressive, masculine perfume that had assaulted his senses and begun to swallow him whole. Alec never was a fan of the cloying, overpowering scent of patchouli that still lingered on his clothes, testament to the extended period of time spent in Logan’s foul presence.

Alec commended himself on his earlier decision not to take his bike. The walk home was a welcome change after everything that had transpired and the elements made him feel freer. Relieved of the pressures and stress, scents, sights and sounds to which he’d been exposed, it was almost as if he had released the dark cloud of doubt and uncertainty within him out into the atmosphere. In short, being outdoors was sobering and helped him think more clearly.

The night had been a disaster – the worse night of his life – and considering his past with Manticore and all things related, that was saying something. The secrets revealed had shattered his perceptions of his life, his loyalties and his beliefs, but at the same time he felt as though a weight had lifted from him.

Alec couldn’t deny that he’d had his doubts about his relationship; he never did claim to love Hailey, though he’d grown to care about her in time. The news just brought him to a new level of awareness, had given him clarity to see what he’d either not noticed before or had ignored.

This didn’t by any stretch mean that things were resolved; nothing is simple, he knew that well enough. However, his eyes were wide open, now, and he was no longer in the dark. Never again would Alec take anything at face value, no matter how much trust he had in a person.

The old adage, ‘Once bitten, twice shy’ definitely fit.

But while the night had sucked, and sucked hard, it had also ended rather successfully with the outing of the truth in a way that no one could contest, and the subsequent derailment of the man known as Eyes Only.

Dix had come through again, not that it was surprising. The Transhuman was a whiz at computers and technology, after all. A few months back, Axel had come across an EMT device specifically designed for computer systems, but with the potential to do greater damage. Dix had modified the device so that it would affect anything connected to the system in which it was implanted.

After calling TC to request the little destructive chip, Alec had spent some time copying and encrypting any files Logan had on the Transgenics and transferring them to TC via secure FTP. Once that was done and the chip had arrived – courtesy of one of the X5s on duty at Command – they’d not only wiped Logan’s system, but anything that had been connected to him. All of his informants and sources that had any link open to Eyes Only were fried.

Alec couldn’t help but grin, knowing that not only did they eliminate Eyes Only’s base of operations, but they’d put the man himself in a bad position with quite a few people who might be out for his blood. It didn’t hurt that Alec had also unleashed a pretty nasty virus worm that could be traced back to EO, either.

Served the bastard right.

It had been one hell of a night and Alec was tired; tired of hurting, tired of feeling and tired of thinking. His mind was still whirling with the events of the past few hours and all the information he now possessed and had yet to completely process and examine. The combination of shocking revelations, reluctant confessions and the resurfacing of feelings for Max were a lot to take in at once. He still didn’t know why she’d done it, but he had his suspicions – how could he not? Everything fit her profile; running instead of confronting her demons and fears, putting other people’s needs before her own, the way she tensed when Logan implied she was any less a woman due to her supposed inability to bear a child, her refusal to meet Alec’s eyes, the way she believed he would have denied her…

Alec alternated between wanting to hit her and hug her. While he’d been wrapped in his hurt, smarting from her vicious rejection of his love and attentions, she’d been drowning in her own despair. He’d allowed his pain to cloud his vision, not allowed himself to see that there was a deeper reason for her refusal to accept him as a lover, and his unwillingness to see past his bruised ego has led to the dissolution of their friendship.

I should have been there for her, regardless, he thought to himself angrily.

Alec had always come back; no matter how many times Max had beaten him down, verbally or physically, he’d never shied away and always came back. So long as she wasn’t physically able to be with Logan, as long as there was a chance that she might see Alec as a potential mate he’d kept hoping and coming back for another lashing of her tongue or fists.

The one time she really needed me to come back, I gave up.

There was too much to think about, still so much to process before he could consider approaching Max for the long, heart-to-heart he knew they both needed. Even if his, and at this he growled in dark fury, mate was tied to him for life, he needed that connection to Max again – assuming, of course, that it wouldn’t be too painful for her. Alec wasn’t stupid; he wouldn’t be selfish enough to demand her presence in his life if she couldn’t handle it, painful as it might be to give her up and distance himself again. Max was his better half. He knew this; deep down he’d always known, and it was killing him now to know that the only real joy in his life – his son, Kaie – was what kept him from his true mate.

There was still the issue of Hailey to deal with and Alec wasn’t quite sure how or what he would do about her. One thing was for certain; his son would stay by his side, even if whatever ended up happening with Hailey meant that she did not. No way in hell was he letting Kaie go.

Alec sighed deeply and picked up his pace. The sooner he got to Terminal City, the better. He wouldn’t go home, though; no, he knew better than to confront his…Hailey when he was this angry. He would never endanger his son, and being around her now and in close proximity to the child could prove catastrophic. Alec had a key to Axel’s apartment and he knew he would be welcome to crash. He smirked, thinking that he wouldn’t be interrupting any activities, either, with Axel still on the mend.

Yes, he decided, Axel and Mena’s was his best bet for the night.

~@~@~@~@~

The baby wailed again and she shoved a fist in her mouth to hold back from screaming her frustration.

Alec was always the one who comforted Kaie. Hailey, for whatever reason, seemed unable to calm the child; in fact, she seemed to make him cry harder just by being nearby. The child drove her to distraction and was grating so heavily on her nerves that she was close to throttling him.

“Where the hell are you, Alec,” she seethed, glancing at the clock yet again. Hailey had been home for hours now, and was surprised to see no sign of her mate in the tiny apartment they shared. All her worries about getting home before he’d noticed her absence were for naught.

“Bastard,” she muttered, slamming the magazine she’d been thumbing through distractedly onto the coffee table. The noise shocked the infant who screamed yet louder.

Hailey jumped to her feet and pounded the wall beside her. This set the boy off at an even higher pitch, breaking the last thread of resolve the woman held and she whipped around to glare at the shrieking child.

“Shut up!” she shouted, “Can’t you just shut the hell up, you annoying brat?!”

Having let out her exasperation, she felt a wave of guilt flood her when fat tears fell from the boy’s innocent, scared eyes and streamed steadily down his chubby cheeks. The poor child didn’t understand; he had no idea what he’d done wrong, why his mother refused to hold him and why she couldn’t calm him.

“God, baby, I’m sorry,” she soothed, reaching out to pick the boy up and press him close to her breast. He wailed still, and Hailey bit back the harsh words on the tip of her tongue, stopped herself from dropping the baby back into his crib and leaving him to his own devices, and instead patted his back as she’d seen Gem and the other women do.

Slowly, Kaie’s cries died down to shuddering breaths interspersed with loud, gasping hiccups. Thumb in mouth, the boy sucked greedily, squeezing out a few stray tears. He snuggled deeply into his mother’s neck, his small body tense, as if expecting to hear more harsh shouts and cruel words, but none came.

Hailey sighed and shook her head lightly, rubbing the infant’s back and shushing him to sleep. She felt horrible; she’d never wanted to be a mother in the first place, but she was no baby killer. At times, though, she couldn’t help wondering if it would have been better not to have born the child. Hailey knew she wasn’t a motherly person, she didn’t seem to possess the same instincts and feelings the other mothers had for their kids. It wasn’t fair to Kaie and, she mused darkly and somewhat selfishly, it wasn’t fair to her, either.

But it kept Alec with her. Alec; the golden haired, hazel eyed devil who was Commander of Terminal City and the Alpha of Alpha males in the Transgenic stronghold. No, she wouldn’t really have wished it any other way, for if she had, Alec would never have stayed with her.

Hailey knew, before she’d revealed her pregnancy to Alec, that he had meant to leave her eventually. She knew she was the rebound girl, the one he used to release the tension and the anger he’d felt towards Max.

Max, Hailey spat viciously at the very thought of her. If she hadn’t learned of Max’s reasons for leaving Alec to waste, she would have hated the girl more. As it was, Hailey despised Max for stealing Alec’s heart. He’d never truly loved her as he loved Max and it was a bitter pill to swallow. Logan’s plan had been just what Hailey needed; a way to snag the top dog in TC and elevate her to a position of status and recognition she’d previously been denied

And despite what others might think. Hailey did love Alec. Perhaps not right off the bat, but the more time she spent with him, the more she learned to love his ways and mannerisms, his humor, his loyalty she couldn’t help but fall hard. It wasn’t her fault that the guy was a sap at times. Manticore had been right; love was his weakness and it blinded him.

Though, she conceded smugly, it was to my benefit after all.

Sparing a last glance at the clock on the wall, Hailey’s lips thinned to a tight, angry line. It was coming up on 4am and Alec had yet to make an appearance.  Turning abruptly, she laid the now peacefully slumbering child in his crib and headed back to the living area.

Sleep would come after she confronted her missing mate. He had some explaining to do.

~@~@~@~@~

Max’s head was pounding. Too many tears, lack of sleep, excessive alcohol consumption and venting her anger and confusion to Cindy had taken its toll, leaving her with a dull ache behind tired eyes.

“You gonna be okay, boo?” her best female friend inquired gently, stifling a yawn and brushing a curl out of her eyes.

Max nodded, flashing her friend a soft smile. “Yeah. You should get some sleep; I’m sorry I kept you up so long.”

Cindy stood up and pulled her robe closer around her frame, tying the sash tightly. “S’all good, boo, but Original Cindy does need that beauty sleep. See you in the morning, girl?” With a light squeeze on the shoulder, she retired for the night.

Max nodded absently and stared out the window at the dark clouds outlined by the full moon.

She wondered how things had gone after she left Logan’s place. She’d felt stifled there and it had been too much to be around Logan after his betrayal, and Alec after his confession. But more than that, she’d felt the familiar stirrings of guilt.

Max knew deep down that if she’d told Alec the truth from the start that he would most likely have stayed with her, denying that it mattered to him that she couldn’t give him what he had always wanted. That niggling, annoying little voice that told her it wasn’t her decision to make, wormed its way out again and she closed her eyes.

Even if it wasn’t my choice to make, I had to, she argued silently. I had to.

But now, after hearing the hurt in his voice, the sincerity of his words, she wondered. Did she really have to? Would he have chosen her over that future? Knowing what it was like having Kaie, would he have really opted out of fatherhood to be with her?

No, she repeated firmly in her mind, he would have regretted it in the end. I did the right thing.

Max knew she’d made the right choice. Alec had a son who meant the world to him, even if he had ended up with a total bitch for a mate.

Come to think of it, she and I need to have a little chat.

She continued to stare out the window, feeling an affinity with the weeping skies.

~@~@~@~@~

Alec let himself into Axel’s apartment quietly, shutting and bolting the door behind him. He removed his shoes and padded silently over to the couch. He shrugged off his jacket and laid it over the armrest before settling down on the couch and stretching out. He rolled onto his side in an attempt to get comfortable, when a loud squeak sounded from beneath him.

Sitting up quickly, he reached blindly for the object that had elicited the loud noise, cursing to himself. His hand wrapped around the small squeak toy and he recognized it immediately.

It was his son’s favourite toy, one he couldn’t sleep without.

What the…

“Alec?” he heard Axel call from the hallway, “That you, man?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly, “Sorry to wake you.”

Axel limped into the room and switched on the light, bathing the room in a soft glow. He stumbled toward the couch but waved Alec away when he made to help him.

“I’m good, just need to take it slow,” he explained, settling down next to his friend. “So, what brings you to my humble abode at 4am?” Axel asked. “Especially when you’ve got your own place just down the hall?”

“Had a bad night, man. Really didn’t wanna go home. I hope it’s okay that I crash here?” Alec responded rather offhandedly. However, Axel knew his friend too well.

He nodded. “Anything to do with why Hailey dumped Kaie here earlier and disappeared?”

“What?!” Alec asked in confusion. “She just left him here? Where did she go?”

Axel shrugged, grimacing slightly at the twinge in his stiff, sore limbs. “Beats me. She came by asking where you were, dropped Kaie on the floor and said she had somewhere to be. Came back about an hour later to pick him up without saying a word.” He watched the play of emotions on Alec’s face and shrewdly guessed, “You haven’t been home yet.”

Alec noted it was a statement and not a question and nodded. “I didn’t want to go home, not yet.”

Axel caught the angry flare in Alec’s eyes and sent him a questioning look.

“Like I said, bad night,” he offered in response to the silent question.

Axel knew Alec better than anyone, and he knew his friend was upset. He also knew that leaving the guy to stew in his juices and not get it out of his system could backfire badly.

“Al, it’s me, man. You can’t hide shit from me, so don’t even try.”

Alec hung his head and rubbed his temples. Damn you, Axel, he thought fondly, you know me too well.

Slowly and haltingly, Alec began to recount the events of the past few days; from his chat with Cindy to the destruction of Logan’s Eyes Only set-up. His friend listed in dazed silence, nodding from time to time, clenching his fists at others, but never saying a word that might stop Alec from getting it all out in the open.

When Alec finished his tale, Axel sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, deep in thought. Finally, turning to Alec he took in the dejected slump of his best friend’s shoulders, the sad eyes full of longing and hurt, and wished he could shoulder some of the burden.

“What are you going to do?”

Alec snorted. “What can I do, Ax?” he asked, frustrated. “I’m stuck with her,” he sighed before adding, ”And there’s Kaie to think about. I won’t leave him.”

Something had been bothering Axel for a very long time, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He studied his friend intently and for a long moment when he leaned in and sniffed at Alec’s neck. His brow furrowed when he seemed unable to determine whatever it was he was looking for and, without warning, Axel yanked at the collar of Alec’s shirt, ripping it open and exposing the other man’s neck and shoulder. Axel’s lips curved upwards.

Alec pulled back abruptly and stared at Axel, perplexed. “Dude, what’s up with you? What the hell was that for, mauling me?” Axel chuckled at that and shook his head, the smile never leaving his face.

“And here I thought you were straight,” Alec muttered, drawing his ripped shirt closed again and moving even further away from his – deranged – friend.

Finally, noting the broad grin Axel sported, and his laughing eyes, Alec’s face showed nothing but confusion. “What, man? What is it?”